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Post by John Egbert on Jan 9, 2013 17:00:07 GMT -5
John had thought he'd seen it all when it came to this new world. From forests to plains, he was pretty sure he must have traveled over most of it. He could travel across all of his old world in a day or so if he really wanted to, but it was probably a lot smaller than Earth - which he still was not sure this place was. It certainly seemed like Earth but Earth didn't have monsters and whatnot, and although he hadn't seen any himself he has certainly heard of them from the few lives he's met while in this strange world so far. Seriously, if this stuff was on earth, then he missed out on a lot in his childhood. But he also didn't know how to fight then so that would not have been very good, either...
But he was closer to getting toward civilization. He could see the city on the outline of the horizon as he flew overhead - finally, a sign that the world wasn't empty! But in order to get there, it seemed like he would have to fly over a mountain. Now, any seasoned adventurer (such as John) knows, Mountains are pretty much the Christmases of adventure. Like, you go there, and shazam, merry Christmas, here's some sweet loot and EXP. He had yet to find either in this strange land but the urge to explore overtook him, floating down onto a rocky mountain cliff. He breathed in - aaaaah. You smell that? That was the smell of adventure. He was practically on adventure's armpit right now with how powerful this smell was.
He began to climb down, hopping into a small crevice below the cliff.
"okay so if i go that way i'll be headed in the same direction as that city. lets see if i can't find a longer route. shortcuts are just plain boring when you're being an explorer."
Wondering if he would run into one of those monsters he'd been hearing about, John began trekking through the mountain, unaware of anything that may be lurking nearby... |
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Post by Gollum/ Smeagol on Jan 9, 2013 18:53:25 GMT -5
Sméagol was an interesting creature with a bizarre past and a difficult life. Misunderstood and tormented by the power of the ring, it corrupted his mind, cracked the very roots of his soul and spider webbed across his psyche before shattering completely, on rare occasion small glimpses and shadows of the former hobbit could be seen, but they were rare, and grew farther and farther apart the more the years ticked by. His torment for the ring is seen by his forever dueling personas. Sméagol, a more gentle soul, still dangerous and still just as unpredictable but a little but easier to speak too, and Gollum, a furious temper a dark obsession with the ring, he has a tendency for violence and hatred.
"We loveses the fishes don't we though Precious! Juicy sweet! Juicy sweet!" Sméagol giggled, crawling through the dank caverns n too large feet and hands. His big blue eyes, seemed to glow in the dismal blackness as he scampered about. He had found a black lake, deep within the confines of the mountains and was quickly turning such a place into his home. Blind fishes were bred by the thousands giving him a smorgasbord of food. "We grinds the bones and chews the meats! Juicy sweet we loves to eat!"
The sunlight beckoned to the pale creature and he frowned dark eyes flinching away against the intense brightness, but he drew closer all the same, hesitantly pausing at the mouth of the caves. For four hundred plus years he had lived in the dismal abyss of the orcs caverns, hiding away, with the ring as his only company, but now the ring was lost, but the sun, remained that same beautiful golden color.
"It reminds us Precious, it reminds us!" Sméagol chirped. The sound of feet, hitting the ground had him retreating into the darkness of the caverns. His agitated growl echoing dimly in the black cave as whatever it was hopped in front of the cavern entrance. Sméagol's eyes widened comically large.
"Its blue Precious? We don't like blue! Nasty, evil waters try to take the precious from us! Try to steal her!" Sméagol bounded forward, crawling low to the ground as he approached the oddly covered figure. Remaining hidden in the blackness of the caves, he called out to it. "What is it!?"
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Post by John Egbert on Jan 9, 2013 19:21:36 GMT -5
Maybe John really was going to run into one of these monsters after all. Well, maybe it was wrong to think of Smeagle as a monster, but how could you not? John certainly did, but seeing Smeagle was also the last...thing he thought he would run into. Seriously, on his list of things he did not expect to run into, Smeagle was pretty much on the bottom, right above King Kong because that is just ridiculous. He cautiously entered the cavern, slightly alarmed at the noise Smeagle made but still entered the cave. Adventurer's can't be deterred by some weird voice, anyway! There was probably some sick treasure in here somewhere, he could feeeeeeeel it in his boooooooones.
But then Smeagle jumped at him, causing the boy to hop backward and wince. Geez, what the hell was this thing? It seemed like it could be dangerous, so John removed the POP-O-MATTIC VRILLYHOO HAMMER from his Strife Deck (huh, that's odd, was it always so empty?) and held it firmly out in front of him, trying to seem intimidating. He wasn't exactly scared - he'd certainly faced much worse before - but the mysterious...thing lurking in the darkness didn't seem to be too friendly. But his voice did sound oddly familiar...
"oh i really don't want much, just doing some adventuring...you, uh, do you like adventuring?" [/font] Good job, Egbert, talking to the thing that probably wanted to eat you. As if that could solve his problems. John strafed around the entrance a bit, making sure his hammer was always pointed at the large slice of shadows where the voice was coming from. Gotta keep an eye on the enemies, you know. Not doing that was pretty much how everyone in a horror movie died, and John wasn't planning on dying (again) today.[/blockquote] |
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Post by Gollum/ Smeagol on Jan 10, 2013 17:33:06 GMT -5
Sméagol's big blue eyes darted back and forth as this... this... this! Thingsy! Turned around. Sméagol could understand the words and the male didn't look too bizarre but Gollum still whispered and Sméagol flinched and scurried this way and that, restless, moving in his discomfort, finally after a few moments of deliberation he crawled forward, out of the cave and into the sunlight, hissing as he moved. He scaled up the side of the cave entrance and perched above the boy, peering down at him with wide and curious eyes.
"Advetureses? Sméagol was on an adventure! Yes.. yes! Master was kind to Sméagol! Freed us from the nasty ropeses! Lets us eat all the juicy sweet fishes we can eats!" Suddenly something seemed to dawn on the small creature and his eyes filled with fear and devastation. "Precious! We lost the Master! Master is lost! Sméagol is lost! Lost! Lost! Lost!" The tiny creature wailed, falling back onto his protruding spine as he screamed, tossing grass and dirt and leaves and anything else his hands came into contact with up into the air. Suddenly seeming to realize he was not alone he darted back to the edge of the rock, wild eyes scanning his person.
"Do you have her!? Do you have our Precious!? Gives it back! She's ours! Give her to us!" Gollum sneered, eyes narrowed and filled with fury, his long fingers tying to grab at anything and everything he could. It reared back and clutching at his cranium he wailed again.
"No! No! No! No! No! It's not a tricksy nasty fat hobbitses! It's not a sneaksy! It's not a tricksy!" Sméagol barked back. His eyes, once more big and innocent glancing onto the males face and he cocked his head to the side, seemingly forgetting his conversation with himself. "It doesn't have the pointy elvsy ears... it doesn't have orcs blood in its beard either Precious it's not a dwarvses..." he paced curiously forward until he was in danger of falling from the rock. "Tell us Precious what is it?"
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Post by John Egbert on Jan 10, 2013 18:54:27 GMT -5
John was tempted to call the creature 'twitchy', because that's just what it was. Really, it seemed frantic and energetic, always moving and always muttering. Yeesh, just what was this thing's problem? And why did it seem so familiar? It was very intrigued when John spoke of adventuring - and he listened well when it spoke. Smeagle...no freaking way. No freakin' way. How could this be Smeagle? Isn't that book from like, forever ago? Jeez, he hadn't even read it in a while, but he was sure the Hobbit was a piece of fiction. But then how was Smeagle here, observing him, and ... doing Smeagle things? John didn't have much time to ponder that, though, as the deformed being began throwing a fit while it searched for it's 'master', ripping up the floor of the cavern.
Taking a step back, John rose his hammer a little higher. Oh man, he didn't want to hit the poor guy, but he would probably have to if Smeagle - er, Gollum? - was gonna attack him first. Really, the thing looked like it would break into a hundred million pieces of John so much as tapped it with the hammer. He kind of wanted to help Smeagle out and find what he was looking for, though. Maybe there would be some insane loot in store for him if he helped? You know, like a quest in an MMORPG. Gotta rank up in levels and gold, that's how it's done, bro.
"oh uh...well i'm john. john egbert. and i'm not an elf, although i guess i did some cosplaying for one a little while ago, and i'm not really a dwarf either."
Maybe if he could keep the conversation going, he could occupy Smeagle and get to calm down a bit? It was really the only thing he could do that may not result in a fight. But you know John - sometimes he can talk a little too much. |
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Post by Gollum/ Smeagol on Jan 11, 2013 14:25:39 GMT -5
Sméagol frowned, his eyes furrowed in concentration and he shifted his weight, bouncing back and forth with agitation? Anxiety? Curiousness? Who knew? He rubbed at his own eyes like an animal and paced forward slowly, he peered up at the "John" eyes impossibly wide and filled with estranged curiosity. He reached out, tugged on his pants legs lightly, and then his cloak, before darting away, squishing himself against the wall for support as he watched his reaction with a mixture of fear and eagerness and then frowned when he realized it had procured no reaction. He hobbled forward, crawling low to the earth, his spinal cord rippling back and forth as he moved.
"It doesn't squeal when its tail is pulled Precious... everything squealses. Just like those pigses, nasty, smelly, foul little tricksys they are!" Sméagol spat at the ground before approaching the man once again, circling him, not in a predatory way, more like the way one might approach a wild animal. Cautious, but still trying. "It doesn't have claws on its feets... it doesn't have feathers or wingses... it's so thin it probably wouldn't taste good... I don't thinkses we should try it Precious."
The small creature frowned, cocking his head this way and that, studying him thoroughly, he rested back on the balls of his feets eyeing the weapon he held with caution. He didn't know what that...thingsy was either. Sméagol had learned well to adopt to his surroundings, he used a variety of things for weapons, branches, stones, sand... anything he coil his thin fingers around, He survived off of the earth, fisheses to be precise, he had no need for clothing or the concepts of decency.
"Johnses Egbertses?" He glanced to the left and then back to the right. "What is a Johnses... Egbertses,,, we don't know what that is do we Precious? Nooooooo....."
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Post by John Egbert on Jan 11, 2013 15:50:12 GMT -5
John was curious about Smeagle. He wanted to know how it was possible that the dude even existed, why he was here, and just where this 'here' was. But to say that Smeagle was curious about John was an understatement. It seemed like the midget (for lack of a better word?) wanted to know everything about him, having never encountered Egbert before. He blinked when Smeagle's thin, bony hands tugged lightly at his clothing. Had he never seen clothing before? Well probably not ones like these, but still. These were just his cool god tier duds. Heh, duds. That word never gets old.
"well i'm not attached to my clothes. that would be pretty gross. i'd probably be all deformed and smelly - no offense!"
Way to go, John, possibly angering the guy that may just want to eat you. Not like it would be a struggle for Egbert to free himself, really, but still. Then, an idea popped into his head. Maybe he could avoid a confrontation by talking after all, but Smeagle would have to be pretty dull to fall for it. John wasn't sure just how intelligent the critter was, but hey, it was worth a shot right? He really didn't want to be eaten, even if the chance of that happening of slim, and he could come back. ...He could come back from that, right?
"no i don't have any wings or horns or anything. pretty boring, don'tcha think? and do you see how skinny i am? there's like, no room for flavor at all! really, just think about it. where would the flavor even be? not here, that's for sure. you ever had dried lettuce? like, that is what i would taste like, but so much worse. like, there was an evacuation order on flavor, and it rushed home to get its family and run for the hills. the hills of not john egbert, that is."
Okay John, you can shut up now. No one even likes it anymore. But he was hoping he got his point across. Really, what's the worst that could happen? John should just leave now. Just sprint out of the cave and take flight, the little guy wouldn't be able to follow him at all. But man, that's what a coward does. And John was no coward! He back up the wall, never lowering his hammer. It wasn't that he didn't trust Smeagle, it's just - well actually yeah he didn't trust him at all, and that was entirely the reason for his defensive stance. He observed him, waiting to see if Smeagle would take the bait... |
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Post by Gollum/ Smeagol on Jan 12, 2013 3:53:09 GMT -5
Sméagol blinked owlishly up at John, its long, too thin body stilling in place as though he had been turned to stone, slowly his fingers twitched, followed by the corner of his mouth and he looked to his left at some imaginary being that only he could see, slowly he glanced back and forth between this Johnses and this invisible creature.
"Did it just calls us smelly precious? It said we were deformed too..." He fell quiet his voice having taken on a more deeper baritone quality as he beckoned to his ring...which was lost...back with the master. He looked back up at John, eyes narrowing in curiosity and he hopped forward, drawing just the slightest bit closer. "What does it mean? Deformed? Precious doesn't understand that wordses?" He knew what dirt was and dragonses, and drunks, and he could even recall what a Dunlap sack looked like! But he was lost with the word deformed... it didn't sound pleasant, perhaps a distant relative of the orcses?
Sméagol's eyes grew narrowed a vicious and rather violent glint entering their depths at the mention of food. Sméagol was an unstable creature, quite possibly one of the most unpredictable beings to ever grace the earth with his presence, he could be perfectly delightful and then trying to kill you in less than a heartbeat. This same unpredictability was his love and hatred for the ring. He hated her, but he loved her. He wanted to be rid of her, but he could never part with her. A walking contradiction, a never ending stream of bickering chaos with himself.
"We loveses to eat! Doesn't matter how skinny or how fatses!" Sméagol scampered up the rock face, and charged towards John, stopping mere inches away from his face, his bog blue eyes wide with delight and hands poised with fingers splayed and he froze. His hands fell lamely to his sides and a smile to capture the sun lit his mouth. "We love the fishes! Precious she does! Says they are juicy sweet! We grind bones and eat the meats... do you like fishes?" There would be no escaping his watchful gaze as his blue eyes bore into John's he would have to play the strange creatures game... games! Games! Games! "How about riddleses does it like riddles?"
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Post by John Egbert on Jan 12, 2013 14:51:10 GMT -5
"oh, yes, yes i love riddles!"
Well not really but what else could John say? He nearly whacked the thing in the face when it jumped at him, but he managed to stay relatively still. Was this thing really scaring him? Really? It was pretty creepy, John would give it that, but scary? He needed to calm down, that was for sure. He almost pissed it off, but lucky for him, it didn't know what deformed means. Maybe that was lucky for John, he may have just dodged a bullet there. But his talking didn't help matters. Maybe it was so small because it didn't eat very much? John was probably a steak dinner to it, no matter how skinny he was.
But this riddles thing could be a nice detour for John. However, his riddle-solving skills were...bad. Or they might be good? He hadn't solved riddles in a while. Maybe he should start off with something.
"seriously, listen to this: what is dark and stony and wet and inside a mountain?"
Literally the best he could come up with now. The answer was obviously a cave, and even a baby could come to that conclusion. He would have to wrack his brain for this, he knew, but that may prove to be harder than he thought. Bluuuuuuuuh... wait. He had a few ideas.
"no wait forget that i have a better one! what has eight legs but isn't an octopus but is also not an insect?"
Aha! ...Another very easy one, if Smeagle knew what an octopus was. Dammit, John, try harder! |
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Post by Gollum/ Smeagol on Jan 12, 2013 20:40:01 GMT -5
Sméagol could feel the Egbertses breath across his skin as it breathed but he was far too focused on the answer of whether or not it like games to really care. Sméagol usually bartered when he spoke of riddles, but the only thing Sméagol ever had to barter was the fishes and the small piece of material that still clung to his waist like a lifeline... and not even the orcses wanted to barter for that. He frowned, no one ever wanted to play with Sméagol, Sméagol was always alone! You always have me loveses. The dark voice of Gollum penetrated his thoughts but Sméagol shoved him down. The Egbertses liked riddles.
"Well tell us one! Give us one to solve!" Sméagol bounced excitedly, almost vibrating in place as he waited. He loved the riddleses! Always liked playing tricksy games back when he was... when he was?... What was he? Sméagol didn't remember, Sméagol didn't care! The Egbertses was telling him a riddle! Sméagol's eyes darted back and forth as he brought his hands to his head thinking. "No...octopuses...no insectses... eight legs... Give us a minute! Give us a minute! Errr....Sleipnir!" He shouted his answer at the Egbertses and didn't even wait for a reply whether he was right or wrong.
"I drive men mad, for love of me, easily beaten, never free!" Sméagol cooed. His large eyes wide as he awaited the boys answer. He frowned suddenly and his gaze shot to the left. "Shhh... I know Precious! I know it's an easy oneses! But we have to start off easy so we can fool the Egbertses with a tougher one!"
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Post by John Egbert on Jan 13, 2013 2:49:23 GMT -5
Okay so that didn't go quite as planned. John arched his eyebrow when Smeagle answered with 'Sleipnir'. What the hell was that? Was it even a thing? Was it even a thing that could and has existed? He didn't know, and he didn't really want to find out. The answer to his riddle was a spider. Getting pretty technical with that one, since spiders are arachnids and not insects, get it? Heh heh. At least John thought it was funny. Smeagle though was not having any waiting, instead jumping right into his own riddle and dear god it was a hard one! John didn't think this thing could produce good riddles but ... wow. He was going to have to ... think about this a bit.
He crossed his arms, tucking his hammer under his armpit, rubbing his temple with one hand.
"okay okay so...so you drive men mad huh? are you a crazy car? okay that was bad you aren't a car...for the love of me and you're never free...is it a wife? because the way i see it when you become a wife you're pretty much just there for sex and babies and stuff and you don't really have a choice because your husband mutates into a fat guy on the couch unless he becomes a really awesome dad which means he obsesses over shaving and baked goods. especially betty crocker. i can't stand betty crocker." [/font] Those couldn't be the answers. What else drives men crazy? "are you money? i mean it makes sense because people go mad over it because it's valuable but lets not be sexist here women can be pretty greedy too so if that's the answer maybe you should change it around a bit? like 'i drive people mad'. just saying, could be better."[/font] He tapped his forehead closing his eyes and rubbing his nose. Geez, this was REALLY gonna take a while! "if it isn't money then i don't know what it is. i hear blood rubies can drive people mad but that's stretching it i think."[/font] Because he didn't just stretch it as far as it could go... "okay anyway here's my riddle. it's not very hard i guess and everyone knows it but it's really creative so i'm gonna use it. what is greater than god, eviler - er, more evil? - than the devil, something the rich need and the poor have, and something that will kill you if you eat it!"[/font][/blockquote] |
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Post by Gollum/ Smeagol on Jan 14, 2013 16:17:22 GMT -5
Sméagol cocked his head this way and that at his answer, trying to decide if the Egbertses had guessed correctly. Goldses was the answer... but what was moneyses? That word had no meaning to Sméagol... but what if it was another word for goldses? He growled low in his throat, he hated when he didn't understand! He didn't understand why Precious had chosen a new master! He had cared for her! He had listened to her songs, whispered of her greatness! Fed her all the delectable blind fishes and nasty orcses that he could! But she had left him! She had abandoned him! Lost! Lost! Lost!
"Goldses! Goldses! Goldses! Is the answer! It's your turn! Ask us! Ask us! Ask us!" He bounced excitedly blue eyes flashing. Sméagol loved this game! This game of guessing! Riddleses were so much fun! Had he liked riddleses before when he was a... was a... what was he? Sméagol didn't remember and Sméagol didn't care because he was playing a game! Sméagol loved games! He careened forward listening intently as Egbertses spoke, his mind whirling in an attempt to figure out such tricksy words.
"Oh! The Egbertses has given us an easy one Precious! You're going to have to be more tricksy that that Egbertses! It's nothing! Nothings!" Sméagol cooed, rocking backwards once more to dream up another riddle. "Hurm... let's see... thinks of something tricky! The Egbertses is smarts Precious! We need to think tricksy! Like one of those nasty fat hobbitses!" He pondered for a minute and then snapped forward suddenly.
"Oh! Oh! We gots one Precious! Sure to stump our Egbertses!" Sméagol cleared his throat crawling closer once more. "My lifeses is measured in hours, and we serves by being devoured, when thin I am quickses and when fat I am slow and the bitter wind is my greatest foe! What am I?"
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Post by John Egbert on Jan 14, 2013 19:15:15 GMT -5
John was beginning to see that a 'game' with Smeagol was like encountering a locked door in a maze, and the only key was being careful and choosing your words wisely. John wasn't one to particularly do either, so this was going to be twice as hard for him as anyone else. But god damn, he wasn't going to back out, even if his riddles weren't quite as top-notch as Smeagol's, he would still try. Push comes to shove, he could always just force himself out of here. ...No one would find out if he accidentally hit the thing, right?
"gold huh? well i guess gold did kinda do that, it's sort of really shiny and valuable. dunno about people going crazy over it though." [/font] Aw man, Smeagol got it! It was nothing. As in, the answer was nothing. But not like, it was easy to find, the answer was literally nothing. Maybe Smeagol was smarter than John had thought? He wouldn't be very surprised, really. But man, he didn't think it would be so hard. He blinked at Smeagol's next riddle. Gosh darnit, where does he get these things?! John sighed, rubbing his forehead. Uuuugh... 'okay okay so you obviously don't live very long if you're life is measured in hours so you gotta be pretty weak i guess. i mean it could also depend on where you are too? man, i don't even have the slightest clue. okay so obviously you are faster when you're thinner and slower when you're fatter...are you a little kid? like they have very short attention spans are pretty small, and i guess they are pretty slow and funny when they're fat. oh man, that wasn't a nice thing to say..."[/font] John wasn't always a pleasant person, but he wasn't expecting a first-class experience with Smeagol. And this riddle had him stumped like the last tree in a forest - he gave up, he didn't know. he shrugged. This wasn't too fun anymore, but he wasn't sure Smeagol would let him off the hook that fast.[/blockquote] |
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Post by Gollum/ Smeagol on Jan 16, 2013 17:45:46 GMT -5
Sméagol's mind was a haunted web of branching cracks and spider webs. So far gone was the once lively and joyful hobbit that it was impossible to understand the complex workings of his mind. He was a haunted mess of misery, anguish, excitement, love, hatred and fear, but they had all blended together to form the unique creature that was Sméagol. He had long ago passed the level of insanity and descended head first into complete and utter mental deterioration. It was impossible to know what kept him ticking, nature should have killed him off hundreds of years ago and whether it was his own twisted sense of love for the ring of power, or the ring itself that had fed him life... it was impossible to tell.
"The Precious is goldses, she makes us kill for her love she does. Kill for our attentions, she's selfish our Precious, So very, very selfish, but she singses us such sweets songs! Only for us! She loves Sméagol... my Precious." Sméagol purred, that riddle had been cast in her honor, depicting both the love and the hatred Sméagol held for the ring. Never free from its influence, and always and forever craving its power, he was a slave to its beck and call, the guardian of its treasure, lost within the caverns of the orcs.
He listened, listened intently as the young boy thought of the answer to his riddles, Sméagol prided himself on his ability to outwit others with gameses. He had played so many games with the Precious! She had built Smeagol's remaining mind, she had molded Sméagol to become the perfect keeper of the ring.
"No! No! No! Sméagol winses! The Egbertses looses! Its not very good at these games is it Precious?" Sméagol giggled, rocking back on his heels, as he celebrated his victory. He crept forward slowly on hands and feets, getting uncomfortably close to his unwitting companion once again. "It was a candle precious! Now... Now!" Sméagol glanced both ways as if trying to recall what it was they had bet on and then a wide grin lit his face. "Now it has to catch Sméagol a fishes!"
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Post by John Egbert on Jan 16, 2013 19:44:55 GMT -5
John was prepared to high-tail it, thinking Smeagol would like...explode or something when he didn't get the answer. Unless the was the answer, in which case wow John was like Sherlock Homes and Batman and Professor Layton all combined into one really cool detective guy. Or he's just really good at guessing, which was entirely probable. He really didn't have any sort of clue as to what the answer could be and his faith in what he said was so flimsy it may as well be on an ancient floppy disk. Even though floppy disks really weren't in actuality flimsy, but still. He blinked, listening to the malnourished ... thing as it spoke, going off about it's precious. Was it talking about it's ring? Man what did that thing even do again? To be honest, John didn't really get into that seriously very deeply. The movies were really cool but honestly they weren't his thing. A little too fantastical, hm? But what was really fantastic was that Smeagol was literally standing (er, crouching) before him. Really, he was sure there were a hundred fanboys who would love to be in his position right now, and he would gladly switch with them. The more he stood here, the more awkward things got...
"yeah uh i lose hahaha...ha." [/font] This was it, this was when he was gonna be eaten...but Smeagol didn't strike him. Nor did he even try to attack him, not at all. He got really close though, and John raised his hammer once more, taking three gracious steps back. But, he just wanted a fish? Odd... John probably would have done that if he asked him to, anyway. "a fish huh? what kind of fish?"[/font] He wasn't very much of a fisherman but how hard could it be, right? Suddenly, he felt less threatened by Smeagol, even if he was creepy. Really, really creepy.[/blockquote] |
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Post by Gollum/ Smeagol on Jan 18, 2013 18:28:04 GMT -5
Sméagol was a creature of incredible unpredictability even at the best of times. His personality tended to flip suddenly and without warning, his brain was a muck filled bog of forgotten memories, lost emotions and scattered, half-formed thoughts, he often went on tangents about seemingly random and irrelevant things, he muttered constantly to himself, he stuttered, threw temper tantrums, caught fishes for the master, teased the nasty fat hobbitses... tried to kill the nasty fat hobbitses. He was a beast that even under the best of circumstances could not be trusted. Even if Sméagol meant no harm or violence... Gollum was not so kind and the latter tended to be the more dominant personality. A walking contradiction did not even begin to describe the muddled mess of this poor creature.
"Idiot! Fool! It will thinks we can do nothing for ourselves! Kill it! Kill it now!" Gollum sneered at his opposing personality, his bitter venom causing Sméagol to whimper and cower behind his hands as he coughed, desperately trying to find off Gollum's control. He hated Gollum he did! Gollum was the tricksy one! Gollum killed his best friend! Gollum wanted that damnable ring!
"No! No! No! No!" Sméagol wailed clawing at his own face and falling backwards, his legs flailed beneath him as he fell, spine arching in an unnatural way. "The Egbertses lost a betsy! He owes Sméagol a fish! He's the weaksy one! Sméagol won! Sméagol won!" The once hobbit cried right back, demanding control and when Gollum snarled once, but left him alone, Sméagol scampered back up onto the balls of his feets, wide eyes glancing around with sudden excitement! He had done it! He had bested the Gollum!
"We likes! We likes!" Gollum scampered back towards his new found entertainment and practically vibrated in place, so ecstatic was he. "Um... what do we likes Precious! Huh? Oh yes! We likes the blind white fisheses! The ones that swim and flash their tailses! They are the juiciest! Precious likes those best!" Sméagol cooed hardly managing to contain his excitement and squirming this way and that.
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Post by John Egbert on Jan 19, 2013 12:59:44 GMT -5
John took a step back when Gollum started to argue with himself. Alright ... alright this was a little more than awkward now. Just what was going on here? John needed to leave, coming to these mountains was just too much of a bad idea. Honestly, he needs to put a leash on his adventuring side. Maybe, if he was slow and careful, he could escape without Smeagol - er, Gollum - knowing. He started to creep towards the exit, holding the hammer firmly in both hands, never taking his eyes off the small creature. But before he could leave, the creature approached him again. Ugh, okay, it just looked so needy and desperate...fine! He'll do it. He'll catch the fish.
"alright...so where do i find these, er, fisheses?"
He glanced around, eying the small, dark body of water deeper inside the cave. Okay, okay so that's probably where they are. He lowed his hammer and strafed past Smeagol, walking towards the black lake. He peered into the water, which was dark as night, trying to spot a fish or two. Even in the darkness, though, the white fish were very easy to spot. And Smeagol said they were blind, yes? Alright then, this should be easy. John raised his hammer over his head, waiting for one of the juicy fishes to swim by, and then...
"HAAAAA!
A battle cry. He swung down with the Pop-O-Mattic hammer, making contact with the fish and sending out a sudden flash of light while the dice rolled, deciding the fate of the fish...
It landed on the SILLY HAT effect.
The fish lay outside of the lake, flopping around, adoring quite a silly hat, which was proportioned to it's body in order to not be too large. John sighed, smiling. Now, at least the guy had something to eat, and lets be serious, that fish looked really funny with a hat. |
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Post by Gollum/ Smeagol on Jan 19, 2013 14:28:09 GMT -5
Sméagol watched the Egbertses closely. His eyes darting back and forth. He didn't know what it was... or what it was doing here, then again Sméagol didn't know where here was, he only knew that the Precious wasn't here, and that had sent Gollum into a mad rage whenever the darker side of him decided to make his presence known. Sméagol could not decide if he liked this world or not, too many humanses, not enough orcses and nasty, smelly, meatses that he could pick off at his own desire. He missed taunting the trolls and scampering away from the wrags. He didn't miss Sauron though... no Sauron was a nasty, tricksy beast! He had hurt Sméagol! Had tortured Sméagol, the scents of burning fleshes and blood! Sméagol shivered... the Egbertses was not a Sauron though. The Egbertses wore too much colors, Sauron was very partial to black metal. He followed the Egbertses to the lake in relative silence. It was not often that Sméagol grew so quiet but the small creature was quite lost.
Sméagol jumped back in surprise at the sudden hammer that sprung from the Egbertses hands... he had seen hammers before, although usually they were covered in metal spikes... jagged bones... blood, organs... they were not usually so colorful, and most of the time they were being swung as him. He rubbed his backside remembering the spines piercing through his flesh... damn orcses.
"Juicy sweet!" Sméagol scampered forward, flinging the silly hat uselessly away and tearing into the fish with surprisingly sharp teeth while the fish flailed uselessly in Sméagol's solid grip. Raw fishes were the best! Slurps the scales and eats the meats! The juice from the fish dripped from his mouth and trailed along his too thin flesh, and after numerous bites he held up the half eaten fish.
"Would the Egbertses like to try its? Juicy sweet fishes!"
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Post by John Egbert on Jan 19, 2013 15:26:41 GMT -5
Smeagol did raise an interesting question. Just why was John even here, anyway? Adventuring? Exploring? Sweet loot? What was he now, some kind of pirate? He would be a really bad pirate, that's for sure. Just look at him, looking for treasure, and instead getting into a riddle-off with a demon midget who like fish and yelling at himself. Way to go, Egbert. Making Dad proud, yeah right. He could just imagine the note he would get for this crap. "Son, if you are reading this, you have not become a good pirate. Go back to law school" or something like that. Smeagol's silence was bone-chilling, though. It made John feel like he was in a really low-budge horror movie that was really only scary when the monster wasn't in the shot...
Oh god it was nasty. He didn't even cook it, he just tore into it with his teeth. John covered his mouth and took a step back. The exit was over there...
"no thanks...i'm just...i'm gonna...
He'd had enough, and so he sprinted towards the exit, his hammer safely tucking itself away inside of his strife deck for later. With the wind pushing at his back, he flew out of the cavern and back into the air, quickly leaving the mountains and heading straight for the city. He felt like he was gonna...urk...hurl...
He would have to be careful in this world now, who knows what else John could run into? They wouldn't all be friendly, nor would they all be friendly. But at least he did something good, yes? Gave Smeagol something to eat? He hoped this wouldn't bite him in the ass later... |
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